The backstory: Idiot had been annoying myself and a few other people on a forum I frequent, and had apparently obtained my YIM username. Hilarity ensues.
[01:48] Idiot: hey whats up
[01:48] Me: who are you?
[01:48] Me: WHO ARE YOU!?
[01:49] Idiot: [[edited out because it'd be too... cruel]] from [[TCODF]]
[01:49] Idiot: do u got a minute
[01:49] Me: I have plenty of minutes; the question is, do I wish to spend them talking to ye?
[01:50] Idiot: are you mad at me
[01:50] Me: no. I despise poor grammar, however.
[01:50] Idiot: ok but can i talk to ya
[01:50] Idiot: please
[01:51] Me: I suppose. if you please type in... less awfulness
[01:53] Me: so.... what brings you to my not-particularly-humble screenname?
[01:53] Idiot: Why doesn’t my post count ever change even if I keep posting?
[01:54] Idiot: Dose skitty sound like a not humble screen name to you?
[01:55] Me: Your post count does not always change because many forums have post count off.
[01:56] Me: And I don't require any discussion on my username; it is what it is and what it is is what it is.
[01:56] Idiot: you seem upset whats wrong
[01:57] Me: the sky is a distressing shade of blue today, you know.
[01:58] Idiot: so the sky is makeing you upset
[01:58] Me: ....
[01:58] Idiot: bad day
[01:58] Me: that was what you call a "snow job".
[01:59] Idiot: ahh so the snow must be keeping u inside
[01:59] Me: ....what...?
[01:59] Idiot: snow
[01:59] Idiot: the snow must be bothering you
[01:59] Me: what snow?
[02:00] Idiot: but really whats wrong
[02:00] Me: I already said, the sky is a distressing shade of blue.
[02:01] Me: Also, I believe that the Ghost of the English Language has petitioned me to form a committee for the disposal of chat speak.
[02:01] Idiot: so your mood depends on the weather
[02:01] Me: ...when did I say anything about that?
[02:01] Idiot: meh it seems the sky is depressing you
[02:02] Me: ...no.
[02:02] Me: Your mother is depressing me, as she had apparently decided to have a child who is incapable of spelling many simple words including "making".
[02:02] Me: However, I doubt that she had much choice, so I can't blame her too much.
[02:03] Idiot: hmm if i only had a mom i wound know what that ment
[02:03] Me: What a wound! What does said wound know what that 'ment'? Was it cement?
[02:04] Idiot: no she left when i was small
[02:05] Idiot: but anyways it wouldent be her fault that i coose to use bad grammar
[02:05] Me: What does 'coose' mean? Is it a goose with no leg?
[02:05] Me: *one
[02:05] Idiot: danm choose
[02:06] Idiot: y r u being so rude
[02:07] Me: Is 'y r u' Yuna Rikku something that begins with a U?
[02:07] Idiot: why are you being so rude
[02:08] Me: Am I being rude?
[02:08] Idiot: well yea it seems like it
[02:08] Me: I never would have noticed.
[02:09] Idiot: it seems like your being so hateful just becouse of me typing fast and not making the correct grammer
[02:09] Idiot: grammar
[02:10] Me: I did not know that you can make the correct grammar, how is this done?
[02:10] Idiot: why are you acting tis way
[02:10] Idiot: this
[02:11] Me: Why am I acting what way?
[02:11] Idiot: your being rude
[02:11] Me: I did not know that I had a 'being rude'.
[02:11] Me: Did I somehow kidnap Rude and hold him hostage
[02:11] Me: ?
[02:12] Idiot: im talking youin a nice respectful way why are you not doing the same
[02:12] Me: I am talking in a nice respectful way.
[02:15] Idiot: ...........
[02:15] Me: Mind you, I am talking in the manner of a cat who has decided to taunt their prey before pouncing for the kill, but I am still talking in a nice respectful way.
[02:16] Idiot: and why are you taunting me
[02:16] Me: I am taunting you because I am capable of doing so and that you have annoyed me, like a flea on the cat's behind.
[02:17] Idiot: ho9w have i annoyed you
[02:17] Idiot: how
[02:18] Me: Why do you not list ways that you could have perchance annoyed me rather than request another moment of my valuble time to list them myself?
[02:18] Me: *valuable
[02:20] Idiot: Well i just came on to ask you a question about the fourms, so you said you could spare some time, I donot know how I annoy you.
[02:20] Me: I have a request to make, on the behalf of the late English Language.
[02:21] Idiot: what is that
[02:23] Me: would you please stop raping its cold dead body?
[02:23] Idiot: ummm
[02:24] Idiot: will you stick to the subject your 14 and your worried about pointless grammar mistakes
[02:24] Me: My fourteen? My fourteen what?
[02:25] Idiot: your age is 14 right
[02:25] Me: My age is not important.
[02:26] Idiot: ahh i get it now your tapping on my intent not to be specific on what i am talking about
[02:27] Idiot: hey
[02:27] Me: What?
[02:27] Idiot: im serious
[02:28] Idiot: look i mean if you dont want to talk then say so
[02:28] Me: I am enjoying this conversation immensely, actually.
[02:29] Idiot: andwhy is that
[02:29] Me: I am enjoying this conversation because I am enjoying it.
[02:29] Me: My reason is not important.
[02:30] Idiot: but whatout reason how is there action
[02:30] Idiot: wiithout]
[02:30] Me: There is reason, but the reason is not important
[02:30] Idiot: whos to say reason is not important
[02:31] Me: I never said reason is not important.
[02:31] Me: Your speech, for example, appears to be without rhyme nor reason.
[02:31] Idiot: who says i was trying to rhyme
[02:33] Me: ...
[02:34] Idiot: how long do you plan on doing this
[02:34] Me: Plan on doing what?
[02:35] Me: Fiddling with words and context to accomplish what some may refer to as a 'zing'?
[02:35] Idiot: yes
[02:35] Me: Why, I could do this all day.
[02:35] Idiot: why are you not giving me a straight answer
[02:36] Me: If I gave a straight answer, then would I be fiddling with words and context?
[02:36] Me: I do not play the fiddle, by the way.
[02:37] Idiot: but you have been fiddling with words
[02:37] Me: Perhaps.
[02:38] Idiot: so stop doing this game
[02:38] Me: What game?
[02:38] Me: Life is a game.
[02:38] Idiot: there u go
[02:38] Me: My game is this: heads I win, tails you lose.
[02:38] Idiot: my cousin dose the same thing to me all the time
[02:39] Idiot: its great to irratatepeople and tict them off
[02:39] Me: Your cousin gives a dose of medicine of the same thing to you all of the time?
[02:40] Idiot: no my cousin dose what you are doing WITH fiddling with words and context
[02:40] Me: So he gives a dose of medication by fiddling with words and context?
[02:41] Idiot: no nothing to do with medication just grammar
[02:41] Me: Oh! So he gives you a dose of grammar!
[02:41] Me: That makes everything as clear as obsidian!
[02:43] Idiot: Medication is not grammar or a liquid to be drank from.
[02:43] Me: Then perhaps you should look up the meaning of 'dose'.
[02:44] Me: Not, however, 'dos', the Spanish word for two.
[02:44] Idiot: no wait medication can be drank
[02:44] Me: Or the mightiest of beasts, that which comes in the night and wields a crossbow.
[02:45] Idiot: what kind of beast
[02:45] Me: A beastly beast, of course.
[02:48] Idiot: There’s a beat capable of handling a task such as holding a crossbow. Such intelligence is unknown in the animal kingdom except frt the monkey witch has a possible thumb and can you sticks and rocks as tools.
[02:49] Me: I never knew monkeys had witches.
[02:49] Idiot: for poseable
[02:49] Me: Did they have the Salem Witch Trials as well?
[02:49] Idiot: oh no
[02:50] Idiot: There’s a beat capable of handling a task such as holding a crossbow. Such intelligence is unknown in the animal kingdom except for the monkey witch has a pose able thumb and can you sticks and rocks as tools.
[02:51] Me: What sort of beat is it?
[02:51] Idiot: you speak of a unknown bead that can hold a crossbow
[02:51] Idiot: beast
[02:51] Me: There is a quite well known beast capable of wielding a crossbow.
[02:52] Me: I believe I am talking to one right now.
[02:52] Me: The species 'homo sapiens'. Have you heard of it?
[02:53] Idiot: They have been extinct for years destroyed their own planet I heard
[02:54] Me: Why? Do you come from the future?
[02:54] Idiot: well i g2g bye
[02:54] Me: Goodbye.