opaltiger dreamt that both of you died in each others arms in a rather bizarre rollercoaster accident.
This is how opaltiger describes your relationship behind your back
‘We’ll be together forever. I know it. I can feel it in my heart. Thing’s have never been better between me and surskitty!’
opaltiger’s been stealing stuff from your house too.
opaltiger wouldn’t admit to it, but they were responsible for the sudden disappearence of surskitty’s wristwatch
They’ve even started modifying their body for you
opaltiger had their tongue pierced just to win your approval.
They sent the following message to you in a Valentines
The world cannot take away what we have. We are destined to be two lovebirds entwined eternally in our love for one another. To cut the crap, do you fancy a fuck?
No. calls to the police :
Your Last Call to The Police
"Look, I need help now. A friend of mine is on top of my roof and they’re threatening to kill themselves unless I accept their marriage proposal. Fuck! I just heard a massive thud! Jesus they’ve done it!"
opaltiger’s Police File
It’s quite obvious to us that opaltiger is clinically insane and should be sectioned immediately.
Testimonies about opaltiger
pyreo - An overly camp drama queen
‘I’m sure if you were to look up useless in the dictionary you would see a picture of opaltiger right beside the definition.’
antialiasis - Brainless patriot
‘Neurotic, depressing and royally fucked up are only three of the possible phrases I could use to describe both opaltiger and surskitty. Chances are surskitty’s just made all of this shit up again.’
rubykun666 - Dull O Dull
‘I can’t believe what I’m hearing! opaltiger a stalker? Well I suppose it makes sense actually. That bastard had really shifty eyes…’
icequeen64 - O’Vomit-a-lot
‘I use the word cunt sparingly - it’s more effective that way. I’ve spent all morning texting opaltiger, with that word playing a key role in most of my messages.’