TODAY DURING EUROPEAN HISTORY $classmate1 found a shield bug and threw fits. So I went to rescue it! Then classmates 2-4 also threw fits because it's a bug it's a bug kill it kill it omg ew what the hell are you doinggggg and I was like I AM GOING TO KEEP IT BECAUSE IT IS MY FRIEND and then they were upset
and then the teacher said that I am the biggest man in the class (I'm also pretty much the only girl. THERE IS ONE OTHER GIRL but she sits in the corner and is stupid and doesn't talk ever so she doesn't count)
after all, I do not shriek like a twelve-year-old girl when a WILD STINKBUG APPEARED
after a bit, the bug FLEW OFF AND ONTO THE CEILING
cue classmates freaking out again: "I HAVE A DATE WITH MY GIRLFRIEND DON'T LET IT STINK ME" "IT ONLY STINKS IF YOU MAKE IT UPSET. STOP MAKING IT FEEL SELF-CONSCIOUS!"
AT THE END OF CLASS I hopped onto a desk to pick the bug off the ceiling.
$classmate1: "IF YOU TOUCH THAT THING I WILL PUNCH YOUR FACE IN"
$teacher: "She'd beat you in a fight."
Also I apparently am terrifying. I have asked for details but there were none supplied. Possibly it may be related to my tendency to claim ownership of the classroom, befriend adorable insects, obsessively collect empty tape rolls, draw small animals on every assignment ever, and relate most topics to some story about my family.
It's a gift.